Thursday, May 3, 2012

GimmiGela

Welcome Cupid's Literary Connection!

 Below is a summary and first 250 pages of my novel...

GimmiGela

MG Contemporary
50,000 words

Summary

            Eleven-year-old Gela Stone learned from her famous mountain-climbing father how to survive in the wild, but after he dies in a tragic accident, Gela must learn completely different survival skills to overcome the grief that turns her family upside-down. Things get even more complicated when she stumbles on random clues that indicate her father’s accident was not as her mother described it, leaving Gela to wonder, how did her father really die and why would her mother lie about it?
The clues turn up everywhere, beginning with a young woman at the funeral who tells Gela, “Your father saved my life,” continuing to the church steps where Gela overhears whispers that will haunt her for months to come:  … crushed to death … two days to find the body … she doesn’t want the children to know. Even a surprise visit from Jangbu, Dad’s climbing partner from Tibet, turns from a comforting reunion into a swirl of confusion.
When ignoring the truth becomes impossible, especially after Gela and her twin brother, Gimmi, discover everyone—including their entire fifth-grade class—has been keeping the secret, humiliation pushes Gimmi and Gela to the extreme. Together they set out to climb the same mountain that took their father’s life, hoping to put an end to the mystery as well as the misery in their lives. But will Gela’s strength and determination be enough for the twins to survive snake attacks, hailstorms and an unplanned overnight stay on a treacherous mountain? 


FIRST PAGE of Book (250 words)


Everest was allowed to carry the challis up to the priest during the funeral. He even lit a candle. That’s what you get when you’re 16, but if you’re 11, like me and my twin brother, Gimmi, it’s a different story. We sat squished between Mom and Aunt Dani, who passed Mom tissue after tissue, knocking me in the head and Gimmi in the face with her arm. It didn’t bother Gimmi, because her sleeve wiped away his tears           at the same time. I didn’t need any tissues, because I don’t cry. Big kids don’t.
Even if they’re girls.
            After an hour of mumbling about how happy we should be because Dad had entered the kingdom of the Lord, Father Tom stepped down from the altar and told us “to go in peace.” He made the sign of the cross over the coffin, folded down the gold-framed photograph of my father—which had been staring at us the whole time—and passed it to Mom. She pressed it to her chest with crossed arms and numbly stared ahead at the men gathering around the coffin. 
Mom nodded to Everest. He swallowed, stood slowly, and without looking at a soul, walked to the coffin. He hesitated for a moment before placing his hands on the smooth dark-brown, shiny wood. On a whispered count of three, they raised it overhead. Everest winced as it came to rest on his shoulder. Mom’s head dropped forward and she curled around the gold-framed photograph, trembling. 

19 comments:

  1. Great premise. I love that you're dealing with grief and a mystery! Good luck!

    -Sarah #146

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  2. I love the mountain climbing twist on this, so cool! Good luck!

    -Zoe #176

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  3. Sounds like a recipe for a really strong cast of characters! Good luck!

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  4. You are so cool to stop by and check this out. I've never played this game before, and I am amazed by the camaraderie. Thank you.... I look forward to stopping by your sites too

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  5. This is really neat. I'm a sucker for MG books and I'm especially a sucker for MG books dealing with grief and misery and family. Good luck in the contest!

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  6. Great to see more MG entries! Good luck from one contestant to another! -April, #61

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  7. Hi Drew, I'm visiting your blog from the Writer's Voice Contest (entry #58), and I wanted to wish you the best of luck! Nice to meet you.

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    1. Thanks for the moral support fellow writers! It's nice to know there are others on this writing journey. We all see to share the same birth defect!

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  8. I love sibling stories, and this one looks like a great one. That opening paragraph has a lot of great voice.

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  9. You have a nice turn of phrase - "Big kids don’t. Even if they’re girls." That captures the age of your protagonist so eloquently.

    Good luck.

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  10. Loved this line: "I didn’t need any tissues, because I don’t cry. Big kids don’t." Gosh, your summary hints at so much depth, so much darkness and sadness. I really want to know about her father and what happened. Loved the haunting feeling in these lines: "Gela overhears whispers that will haunt her for months to come: … crushed to death … two days to find the body … she doesn’t want the children to know."

    I want to read just to find out what happens to Gela and her father! You tapped the young adult mindset of finding out 'hidden' information.

    Nice job, would definately read! Good luck!

    SC (#159)

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  11. If the picture didn't snag my attention, a character called Everest certainly did. Me and mountains go way back - I have climbed them all over Europe, but my favourite is Cadair Idris in Wales - at 51, it took me 3 goes before I reached the summit amid thunder, hail and driving rain, but boy was the view worth the effort.
    Good luck from a fellow MG entrant.
    Cheers
    Jacky (#130)
    xxx

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  12. This sounds great. Good luck!

    ~entry 68

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  13. Just stopping by to wish you good luck!

    Krystalyn #87

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  14. I agree with everybody! Good luck to you! #163

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  15. Hi Drew,

    Where can I read the rest, Good Luck!!

    Lefty

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  16. Circling back around here to let you know that your entry was on my short short list. I think you've got a really stellar concept here. Really. Stellar. The only things that tripped me up were the patches of rougher writing.

    Especially in a query letter, you want to make your sentences really straightforward and precise. This line in particular--"When ignoring the truth becomes impossible, especially after Gela and her twin brother, Gimmi, discover everyone—including their entire fifth-grade class—has been keeping the secret, humiliation pushes Gimmi and Gela to the extreme"--was a little long and overly complicated, I thought. I'd try to keep these sentences as crisp as possible, just so that even if an agent does start to skim, she'll still follow your summary.

    Best of luck to you and GIMMIGELA. I'd love to read this one someday.

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    1. Thanks for your kind words and insights. I agree the sentence is long and gritty. Need to polish it more, I suppose. Query letters are so painful to write!

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